IELTS Band 7.0 Model Essay 11 模範解答 IELTS-Blog添削結果の見本付きーWitten by Sayaー - 「教育学」をロンドン大学(UCL)で深めてみようーSaya's Diaryー

f:id:l0vu4evr:20190901220321j:plain

今日は、IELTSのモデルエッセーのご紹介です。

そして、IELTS-Blogの添削結果も提示して起きましたので、気になった方は添削依頼されても良いかもしれませんね♪

課題
模範エッセー
バンドスコア

課題

Some people say that people should have a different amount of holiday according to their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

IELTSライティング完全対策

作者: 嶋津幸樹,タクトピアIELTS研究チーム
出版社/メーカー: ディーエイチシー
発売日: 2018/09/10
メディア: 単行本（ソフトカバー）
この商品を含むブログを見る

模範エッセー

Nowadays, the number of annual holidays differ in accordance with professions. In my opinion, this trend is relevant in considering the different working conditions in each occupation.

First of all, daily working hours differ according to the professions. For instance, navies carry out sea surveillance for their work for the whole day. In contrast, city hall officers usually work from Mondays to Fridays for 8 hours per day. From this comparison, navies have longer engagement than city hall officers while they are on duty. This can be reflected in all occupations that working hours vary significantly by jobs, therefore people who engage in their work for long hours should be given more holidays.

Another reason is that giving an equal number of holidays to everyone might be unfair. Each company provide different types of benefits such as high salary, a free accommodation, an insurance and the number of holidays is a part of them. For this reason, employees with high salary tend to have fewer holidays than other employees. If everyone earns the same number of holidays, those who work harder will feel neglected. Therefore, the number of holidays is important to keep fairness in the workplace.

In conclusion, everyone prefers to have more holidays. However, the number of holidays is different in regard to occupations. This is because each job has different workload and companies provide several types of employment benefits to their employees. Therefore, the difference in the number of holidays should be considered as relevant.