IELTS Model Essay 15模範解答ーWitten by Sayaー - 「教育学」をロンドン大学(UCL)で深めてみようーSaya's Diaryー

はじめに
課題
エッセー
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はじめに

f:id:l0vu4evr:20190704232533j:plain

みなさん、こんにちは。今日はIELTSの模範解答15回目です。

いつもは、Band 7.0相当のものをあげているのですが、今日はバンドスコアがどの程度かは疑問です（汗）

でも、確実にBand6.0以上はあります。

そして、なぜ、今回Band7.0相当か分からないのか？と言いますと・・・、

実は、今書いたからです。

今日私が書いたものをModel Essayとして提供するのは、どうかな・・・と思ったのですが、私がIELTS学習者の方を応援する方法って、これくらいかなと思って、あえて投稿します。

＊もし、勉強の足しにならなかったら、スルーしてください。

実はこのエッセー、以前、添削をしてもらっていた課題でした。

その時のBand Score は6.5です。

今読み直してみると、あまりにも酷い仕上がりでしたので、これは投稿しても、みなさんの勉強の足しにならないなと思い、書き直すことにしたんです。

そしたら、まるっきり新しいエッセーになってしまいました（笑）

そのため、今回はバンドスコアは分かりません。

＊この文章の英語は、なるべく真似しやすいような表現を使って書きました。

＊使えそうなものは、青色をつけておきましたので、使えそうであれば、使ってください。

＊ただし、私はIELTS専門家ではありませんので、ほどほどに！

課題

In many countries, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

エッセー

There is an increasing number of retirement houses these days. Some people argue that family should be responsible to take care of elderlies at home. However, I think that retirement houses are beneficial for elderlies. This essay will explain the reasons for my opinion.

First of all, I think that retirement houses are good for the elderly's well-being. At retirement houses, elderlies can make friends easily from their daily lives and never feel loneliness. As well as this, the staffs at the houses hold seasonal events such as Christmas and New Year to make their life enjoyable. In my own experience, my grandmother preferred being at the retirement house because she could not walk to see her friends when she was staying at home. Hence, retirement house gives a wider opportunity for residents to interact with people to improve their quality of life.

Another reason is that staff at retirement houses are all qualified in taking care of elderlies. In the case of an emergency, there are nurses who can give immediate treatments. Furthermore, every meal is well controlled by nutrients that elderlies can enjoy healthy meals every day. If they stay at home alone, it would be impossible to maintain this perfect quality of life. For this reason, retirement houses are worthwhile paying an expensive fee to have the best environment under the professionals.

In conclusion, a retirement house has been increasing its popularity regardless of some disagreement. However, I think that this phenomenon is understandable because it ensures the elderly's well-being with a warm environment and reliable staff. I predict that there will a greater demand for retirement houses because of an aging society.

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